The Curse of Immortality
by Helene2
Summary: Buffy and Angel find reunion, but the curse of the Vampire still leaves Angel a creature of the night. But now, it is no longer a curse. Angel's POV (I know, lame summary, but it's late, and I'm missing about half my vocabulary since my brain is fried


TITLE: The Curse of Immortality  
AUTHOR: Helene  
RATING: Same as the Show (PG-13)  
SPOILERS: This story doesn't have much to do with canon, but everything, just in case.  
FEEDBACK: Loved  
  
  
***  
  
It has been 200 years. To the day. 200 years since I had first met the Slayer, my soulmate, my ionuin. So much had happened in those centuries. I was forced to watch my dearest friends die. Wesley first, than Cordelia, then Gunn, then Fred. I was at each of their sides as time took from their lives, and all that was left was the shrivled carcass of the soulless. I take happiness in that fact that it was old age, and not a demon, or apocolypse that took them, but it still hurts. At least I'm not alone. I have her.  
  
I remember finally going back, just to talk. Time had passed, and my pain was a numb ache. I knew that meant we had moved on. But when I got there I was met with flitting gazes, cryptic answers, and little information. Buffy was gone, and that was all they would tell me. It had been 7 years. Did I expect her to still be in Sunnydale?  
  
It had been amazing to see the changes take hold in everyone. Xander had long ago dropped calling me 'dead boy', and was a mature adult. He still kept his wacky sarcasm, but he had definitely grown. He had married the woman, Anya, who I remembered meeting fleetingly, before the Ascension. They had 3 children, and Xander was loving them in ways his parents had never loved him. He worked as a teacher of all things. This, the boy who hated school with a passion, but according to him, and with a mischevious glint in his eyes, it's "fun when your the one in charge." He teaches History at Sunnydale High, which has quieted down.  
  
Willow had another surprising career choice. She'd become a Watcher. She had been working towards her degree in Chemistry, but had found that unfullfilling, and had returned to her call to help people. She was in charge of the new Slayer, and in fact had been packing to fly to Japan and meet her. She was much more confident now, the nervous stutter never escaping her lips. The softest hint of a British accent graced her sweet voice, from her time spent studying in England.  
  
Giles had retired. He was living happily at home, having decided to remain in America, knowing he couldn't leave his surrogate family, and knowing they wouldn't let him go. Now he had all day for his books, and tea, and that seemed to suit him just fine. he had watch with a bemused, aged expression as the group gathered around me to speak with me. Apparently there had been enough time for them to forgive me.  
  
Spike still hung around, and though he and the ex-Watcher constantly bickered, and fought like cats and dogs, I knew that they enjoyed the others company more than they would ever admit. It was a strange, almost father-son relationship between the two, and I could sense a grudging respect that had been born between them. Spike himself wasn't so bad anymore, but still loved to antagonize me with Poofter and Peaches, gulping down a swig of whiskey. He seemed better now though, more... soulful? It was hard to believe this was the Childe who had tried to destroy us all. He was almost, pleasant to be around.  
  
And Buffy's sister Dawn. She wasn't there, and I heard from the other that she had moved to Ohio with her new husband and was pregnant with their first child. I knew that my memories of Dawn were synthetic, that they weren't real, but I couldn't help but feel a surge of joy at her happiness. After all, my memories said I knew her, and that she'd always been an interesting bundle of energy. She was an interior decorater.  
  
But when things came to Buffy the room took a hushed, and uncomfortable silence that left me shifting uncomfortably, and inwardly fearing the worst. Was she... dead? I could barely bring myself to think the thought, much less ask the question. They seemed to sense my thoughts, and I felt Willow reassuringly pat my arm.  
  
"She's not gone Angel, but I think you two should talk."  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
"She was on her way to see you actually."  
  
I'm not sure what happened next it was all a blur. What I remember was hurriedly saying goodbye, and they all but shoving me out the door to see her. I was surprised. At our last encounter we had promised to forget, and now they were all but demanding i see her, echoing the commands of my heart. Maybe I hadn't learned to control the dull ache.  
  
It was an hour and half before I reached my home, the Hyperion Hotel. I had fixed the place up, and it was now serving as a home for demons, and humans. It was like Caritas, no violence permitted, and simply a place for the inhabitants to exist peacefully. Needless to say, it was a bustle of activity, such that I wasn't used too. It was a dramatic change from my solitary life style. But my friends had helped me to grow.  
  
I can still hear Cordelia's chiding voice, whenever we would hear a crash or a snarl. She could see me tense up, and wagged her finger, jokingly telling me, "you asked for it," her characteristic bluntness firmly intact. And maybe I did ask for it, but I didn't mind it. I was feeling, alive, in ways that I had felt only once before, in those arms. Her arms.  
  
"For God's sake!" Wesley would cry, and through his paper down, and would roll his eyes heavenwards. "Isn't this a peaceful establishment?" I would chuckle, finish pouring my coffee, and jerk my thumb up the stairs.  
  
"It's Ray, and Wushak, they're just vacumming." It was somewhat noisy when the actual vacuum was Wushak, hence the snarl. Wesley would nod curtly and return to his paper, a soft smile playing his lips. I think he felt complete there. Gunn and Fred had gotten married, and lived on the top floor, by themselves, to give them prviacy. It had been my wedding gift to them. A kitchen had been installed for their personal use, and I loved waking up in the morning to the sounds of their children's footsteps running across the floor, and their giggles. All three of us had been named God-parents, and it left my heart warmed. They had five children, the triplets, Amy, Donoven, and Lawrence. They were the youngest, all three 2 years old. Then there was Alex, the 4 year old, and Tracy, the 5 year old. They were used to their life amongst demons, that was a normal world for them. They knew I was a Vampire, they had seen me in my Vampire guise, on accident, and yet that was still normal, and they didn't care. Their baby-sitters had slime, and extra arms. It was a contented existence and I loved it.  
  
I had rushed back to LA, and thrown open the door. The lobby was uncharacteristically empty, except for one person who stood in the center, hands clasped behind her. Her longer hair was still bright as the sun, and hung at her waist, braided casually. She wore her long blue coat, the one I could still remember, and her eyes looked at me with trepidation, happiness, and a myriad of other conflicitng emoitons, but the one I saw immediately, was the one I had hoped to see. Love.   
  
I had approached her catiously, and she'd stuck out one of her hands, and I had gingerly taken it in my own, steeling myself against the urge to reach out and clutch her too me at the mere thought of her touch. I would never forget, would I? And I knew, that deep down I didn't want to. She was smiling at me now, that warm, earth shattering smile, that warmed even my eternally cold body. And then I noticed it, the cold of her own hand, the cold that comes only with death. I notced the paleness of her skin, the silence in place of her heartbeat.  
  
"Oh my God," I whispered, but I didn't drop her hand, just gripped it more tightly. "Buffy?" I asked terrified. She nodded softly, knowingly, with the wisdom that comes with time. I wasn't the only one who had grown. I felt the tears splash my eyes, saw them beat against her pale skin, and new that it hurt her too, this new reality.  
  
"I'm a Vampire, Angel," she told me softly, taking another step closer. I mirrored her action.  
  
"W-Why?" I choked out.  
  
She could only become a Vampire if she had drunk the blood of her Sire, conciously made the decision to become a Vampire. A part of me was terrified, another part was angry. How could she sacrifice her life? And another part of me, which I tried to hush, was hopeful. Suddenly the reasons for our being apart were gone, but I knew thinking this way was selfish of me, so I did my best to ignore it.  
  
And then, as she explained her story, the anger faded, and I felt nothing but compassion and love for her. She had been attacked on patrol, by a run of the mill Vampire, apparantly unaware of the Slayer, a new to town Vampire. She had been tired, not in the sense of phyiscal exhaustion, but in the sense of fighting. She was ready to give it up, return to Heaven, and leave the pain behind. She had put up little fight, letting him sink his fangs into her soft flesh, drink from her warm blood. But as she felt her body slowly emptying, her mind was suddenly afire, with images. Dawn, her friends, her mother, school, life... and me, and she knew she couldn't let go yet, she couldn't let the evil win, she couldn't give into the pain. They needed her and she needed them. She tried to struggle but was weakend, and the Vampire was caught in the strenth of the feeding frenzy. She would not last much longer, she could feel the life sucking out of her. So she did the only thing to could, to remain on this earth.   
  
She gripped his wrist, and bit hard into his flesh, and even though she had no fangs, the strength of that bite was enough to tear into the skin, draw forth the blood, the elixor of death. She had drunk from him, surpressing her revulsion at what she was doing, what she was becoming, but knowing she had to stay. The Vampire groaned in pain, but he didn't stop her. Perhaps he thought was gaining a comrade in arms.  
  
"But Buffy, without your soul-"  
  
"I'm not sure what I was thinking," Buffy explained. "Just that I had to live." Fortunately Buffy had not been alone in the grave yard. Willow and Xander had been taking a walk , Willow wanting to say goodbye to everything before she left. And despite the painful memories, cemetaries had always been a huge part of her life. She had walked with her friends in these, fought evil in these, learned some of life's lessons in them. And then they had seen her, Buffy pinned to the ground by the Vampire, the gurgling noises as he drank from her. They had been in such a panic they hadn't noticed she was drinking too, all they knew was they had to save their friend. They had managed to throw the Vampire from Buffy, Willow's training invaluable, and her preparedness with a cross all the more helpful. The Vampire had hissed, and run into the night, but not without a farewell kick from Xander. They had carried Buffy back to Gile's home, and the Watcher had been the first to notice the blood on her mouth, the pallor of death sweeping through her.  
  
"She fed off him?" Xander had cried in disbelief, and had promptly punched his fist angrily through the wall. Willow racked her brain for what to do, Watcher and friend melding into one, urgent conciousness.   
  
"We need to bury her so that she can rise!" she had cried.  
  
"Willow, we should...we should..." but Giles could not finish the thought. He could never wish the death of his Slayer, his daughter, Vampire or not.  
  
"We can't kill her!" Willow had cried.  
  
And then Xander spoke up, still gripping his bleeding hand tightly. "Buffy wouldn't want to become a monster," he had said simply, and the truth in his words terrified them, because they knew what that meant doing to her, to their Buffy. But then Willow had a sudden inspiration and cried out, earning looks from the men.   
  
"The curse! The Romany curse! We can use it on Buffy!" Giles had sent her home to grab the supplies and the spell, while he and Xander hurriedly dug Buffy a grave, and placed her in it. It left a mound in the grass, and the sickening reminder that it was Buffy under there.   
  
"When I rose, it wasn't like coming back the first time. I wasn't scared this time, it was the demon, and the demon expected to be buried."  
  
I had nodded, remember my own rising, remember how instinct had surpassed all else, remembering clawing my way through the fresh turned dirt.   
  
By the time Buffy had risen Willow had been back. She had snarled and hissed, tried to attack, tried to feed, but they were prepared with crosses, and manacles, which the hurriedly fastened around her. Willow had cast the spell, praying it would work, and hadn't been solely for me. And it had worked. Buffy's eyes had been alit with an inner fire, and then returned to their pure hazel. She had stared at them long and hard, in shock at her new situation, and trying to remember how all this had happened.  
  
"When I did remember, I was so ashamed that I had let it happen," she sobbed into my shoulder, and I had instinctively wrapped her in my arms, holding her close. She had nestled her head into my chest, and cried there, while I rocked her back and forth, stroking her hair and back gently.   
  
"But I came to terms with it," she told me, pulling back to once again look into my eyes. "And I was doing okay. Still slaying, getting food from the butcher's, everything was ok..." I winced, wishing I could have been there for her, wishing i could have helped her. I understood what she was going through, I should have been there to support her.   
  
"I'm sorry I wasn't there," I tell her, mirroring my thoughts. She squeezes my hand tightly.   
  
"You had no way of knowing, I could have called, it's just... I was so used to pushing thoughts of you away... that I didn't want to risk the pain again..." I nodded, swallowing hard. "But then I kept thinking of you, and how much I still loved you..." She loved me still? How did I deserve to be so lucky? "And how none of your reasons for leaving, apply anymore."   
  
Did she want me back? She was right, none of the reasons applied anymore, except one, but that wasn't much of a reason, especially when weighed against everything else.   
  
"You still love me?" I asked incredulously. She looked at me with intense eyes.  
  
"I'll always love you... your my soulmate, and it feels so nice to finally say that without reprecussions." Her gaze turned quietly fearful as she worked her jaw to say more. "Do you still love me?" she whispered. "Even though I'm a monster?"  
  
"Shhh..." I soothed, and kissed her gently on the lips. God it felt so right to kiss her. I held her tightly, never wanting to let her go. "Your not a monster... your the most amazing woman on the planet," I whispered, and pressed another gentle kiss to her forehead. I took her face gently in my hand, and made her look me in the eyes. They were pained, as I'm sure mine were. "I love you... I always have... and I always will. Your my soulmate."  
  
"Oh Angel," she had whispered and I could see the pain in her eyes give way to the love, and was certain mine must be showing the same. We sat down on the bench together just holding one another, catching eachother up on the last 7 years of our lives, and always telling the other we loved them. It felt wonderful to be able to say that eachother again, with no worries, knowing we would be together for eternity.   
  
It was almost dawn by the time we began to yawn with sleep. I could hear the hotel already beginning to stir with life, and it's waking inhabitants. We stood and made our way to my room, pulling the curtains tightly closed. It was strange now, to think that we were both being protected from the sunlight, and that I wasn't barring her from it. Forcing myself to release her I made my way to the closet to grab my pajamas and a shirt for her. She had left her things in her car. I turned around and handed her the shirt, which she promptly discarded. "I shouldn't be needing that," she replied, and I could hear the seductive lilt to her voice.  
  
"Buffy we can't." Despite her being a Vampire the curse stood, as it did for her now too. We were both victims to the same clause. But she merely laughed and shook her head, indicating the pocket of my coat.  
  
"Did Willow give you the note?" I nodded, finally remember the piece of paper she had told me not to read until I spoke with Buffy. I slipped the envelope out, and recognized Willow's careful letters. Pulling out the thin sheet of paper, I read the note in surprise.  
  
  
  
Dear Angel,  
Consider this an early wedding present. Wedding? your no doubt asking yourself. But let's just say, your crazy not to marry Buffy, after all that's happened. Your reasons for leaving are gone. Just remember, you bring one another true happiness, but then again, you don't need to be reminded do you? I fixed the curse, and enchanted both you and Buffy. The clause no longer stands between you. You can live in eternal happiness with one another, and I hope you do... Or I just may have to sick the new Slayer on you. Blessed be my friend. Good luck.  
  
  
  
I slowly folded the note and put it back in it's envelope. Buffy was watching me with a studying gaze. I sat down beside her, and she continued to watch me. "Buffy... do you..."  
  
"Want to be with you, want to share eternity with you? Yes," she replied softly, stroking the back of my hand, which I raised to clasp with hers.  
  
"Will this be to much? To fast?" I ask her worriedly. She chuckled. "Angel, I'm 25 years only, not 17 anymore. I know what I want, and i've thought this through. It's you."  
  
I kissed her then, all my inhibitions had been banished, and i felt her kiss me back, with the same fiery passion that we had locked away for so long. She pulled me with her as we leaned against the bed, and I held her tightly, feeling her fingers caressing my back, where my tatoo was. My hands followed suit and roamed her cool skin. "I love you," I could hear her whisper between fiery kisses.  
  
"I love you," I whispered back, and I know now, those words will bind us together for eternity. How can immortality be a curse when it means the gift of spending it with her?  
  
And now it's been 200 years. I feel her begin to stir next to me, and raise a hand to brush her cheek. She rolls over, settling her head against my chest, and I smile as a grin curls her lips. Her eyes flutter open, and she brushes her hand against my cheek. "Morning love," she whispers, and I grin even broader. 200 years, and those simple words still send shivers down my spine, as I know they always will. I kiss her in greeting, and feel the rumble of a giggle in her.  
  
  
"Hello love."  
  
"What should we do today?" she asks, stroking my hair. I catch her hand and kiss it softly. "We could always...finish the remodeling...have a picnic in the moonlight...fight evil..." I grin, and so does she at the casualness with which I tick off the last thought. We still patrol, we still fight to save the world, as we always will, for we are destiny's warriors, but it's so much nicer with eachother at our sides.  
  
"Sounds like a day!" she tells me and sits up, pulling me with her. She grins ferally. "But first, we really should shower..." she trails of and gives me her famous, hinting look.  
  
I quirk a brow. "Oh?" I ask. "Well, I get to go first," I tease, pretending to miss her suggestion. I start to stand and she tugs herself up with me, laughing. I kiss the top of her head, and know, I have found true happiness.  
  
Pure happiness.. 


End file.
